


Spooky Friends (Sanders Sides SNL)

by SanderRohde



Series: Spooky friends [1]
Category: Los Espookys (TV), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Human AU, Including Critic Thomas, Jon Cozart - Freeform, Logan and Patton and Roman and Virgil and Remus and Deceit are all latinx, Logan is a dentist’s assistant, M/M, No offense to them, Non betaed, Patton is kind of dumb, Religious Mentions, Roman is the leader, Sanders Sides SNL, Virgil is Julio Torres, Virtually everyone is in this, Xavier owns the Hun Bots, and Steve the stove, and the printer, conditionally, non binary Logan Sanders, non binary Patton Sanders, sexual innuendo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 07:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20617064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanderRohde/pseuds/SanderRohde
Summary: The Los Espookys au you have all been waiting for! Latinx main sides, zany weird af stuff, and a heaping dose of relationships, angst, soap opera drama, and another excuse to make another Mean Girls au even though someone already did that.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Long time no see, right? Anyway, I don’t speak or write in Spanish, but in the show I am basing this on (Los Espookys) the main characters and a lot of the supporting cast speak in Spanish. It makes more sense when you watch the show.

Roman sits in a room, his aspirations dotting each wall carefully. He has more wall space because he lives in his family’s garage. Walls covered with Disney posters, old psychedelic band posters, and a line picture frame, the rest of the pictures being safely tucked away in a pink glitter photo book his friend’s sibling, Patton, had gotten him for his birthday a few years back. Logan (his friend) insisted on checking the pink glitter monogrammed fake leather photo book for hidden glitter bombs or excuses to make puns. There were none. It was surprising that Patton would spend their ‘odd jobs no one else would get in Mexico’ money without a good excuse for a dad joke at the very least, but it showed they cared. Roman cried at all the great memories. His phone rings. The address says something about how their cousin’s quinceanera was a success with all of the decor being so spookily good they could not even contain themselves from gasping and laughing out loud at all the right points. 

Dorian had it all planned out. Get Virgil to marry him, combine their stupidly rich empires, and profit. Now all he needed was an umbrella, some minions, and an appropriately dramatic moment. Easy enough, the man thought, it would just have to be dramatic for his tastes. Virgil, the chocolate prince of Mexico, would marry him and pool their fortunes together if it meant having to do it himself. He was very into the idea of Virgil being held in his stupid little chocolate prison for as long as it would take him to turn the key. 

Virgil thinks back, for the hundredth time, on the fact that his hair had been dyed a saucy shade of sangria the moment he was born. It meant that he may very well have been adopted, which was what he hoped to be true. Keeping his mysterious exterior depended on it. He put on another sparkly patchwork hoodie and scratched his nail across his mirror. Peeling off a piece of the glass, he swallowed it and started digesting. His mirror was the only sugar he had in the mansion other than chocolate. It gave him comfort that the people he called his parents would never know the piece of sugar that was his mirror. He wasn’t in the special effects business for nothing, although most of what he did was more technical. Sugar glass was a classic, though, he thought as he broke off another piece.


	2. Jobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eventually they will all enjoy their jobs, and feel their time was well spent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back with another chapter! Thanks to Aby17 for being my first comments ever on a fanfiction on this site! Enjoy, and this is for you!

Logan has close to two PHDs and was a dentist’s assistant in a place where smiling was commonplace. Their mouth simply wouldn’t smile. No matter what the boss asked, or when, Logan’s muscles were so the man who was their boss couldn’t criticize, as Logan has a condition called RBF. Logan wouldn’t tell their sibling about what that really stood for. Patton would be scarred for life. Occasionally, Roman’s antics involved them, but they never had asked why money wasn’t involved, though that was something in the back of their head. If they were doing it together, might as well profit from the breaks from work, which often cut their salary in little pieces for missing unauthorized time. And they wanted a nicer living arrangement. 

Patton was, in a few words, kind, ridiculous and kind of an airhead. But boy could they find weird jobs to pass time with! Once they found a job for wearing other people’s shoes, which they still had, and spent most of the money from that on a patch to put on Roman’s photo book. At first, they looked for Roman’s name in patch form, but only saw ‘Romano’ embroidered on them, and Patton knew about Roman’s idea of a backstory, so no. They ended up buying several patches and monogramming that way. They liked remembering that moment as they came across a flyer for a new job as a ‘professional fan.’ Did that include the batteries? Even if it didn’t, it would be a fun experience. They walked some more. 

Someone else ran everything for Jon. All he had to do was exist. Sure, being the American Ambassador was a hard job, but his PR team could handle it, right? Which is why he was counting down the days until something exciting happened. Doing nothing all day was tiring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exit pursued by a bear
> 
> I wrote this to the lilting vibrato of Fiona Apple  
(Hi guys! October me here! Am currently working on a new, extra long chapter(s) for this fic to make up for last week. Stay tuned!)


	3. Finally, an exorcism pt. 1 (houses)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets their first gig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing last week! Hope you enjoy!

Kenny loved his job as a priest! Sure, he had only achieved his dream a few months ago, but what was the point of bringing that up? Quickly gaining the support of everyone in the church where he worked, he noticed another rivalry. His previous rivalry had been with a girl who had gotten him fired over ‘his abnormally glossy lips.’ It seemed that wherever he was people hated or loved him over those accursed lips, even within an environment that was meant for seeking asylum. Oh, well. He couldn’t be liked by everyone. And the older, priest, Dominic, wasn’t part of the everyone. 

Dominic has a problem, that being that the new priest, Kenny, seemed to know everyone, relationships that he had taken time to cultivate, and was gaining more clout with everyone there. Those stupid glossy lips. The air from the fan with no power controlled by a younger ( albeit middle aged) man than he was hit him as he was thinking, blew at him from all directions. It might have been relaxing if it wasn’t so jarring. What was the man’s name again? Payton, Patton, Perry? Oh, no, it was Pat something. 

“Pat, can you stop with the fan for a second so I can make a phone call?”

“Sure thing, kiddo!”

“ I am not a…well maybe...never mind. Can you get my phone please? 

It seemed to echo all around them, caught in a furious spiral of thoughts against the air, the stillness bringing pain to an otherwise relaxed room. Everything was pink. And still. And Margareta ‘Missy’ Cumplidos was missing something. As Missy collapsed again, the only thoughts that crossed their mind were of various points of dejavu of a happy child (Venus) and a happy spouse (Perry) on a beach they knew all too well. Plagued with an influx of memories, Missy went back to sleep as per requested. 

Jon sat in a room with a mirror, a pink comforter, and his phone. Reapplying his lipstick and smacking his lips together, Jon watched the latest YouTube video from a Tellslies and swooned, even as an ad played. This video was a good one that Jon had seen many times before. Tellslies was an Instagram model, that was for sure. His plushy heart with the words ‘I love you Jon’ hastily scribbled in permanent marker in his own handwriting was the only reason he might even believe he was loved. But Tellslies’ avatar made him hungry. Perhaps he could do with a snickerdoodle. 

Virgil lived in a chocolate house. The walls were blue, but he only knew they were so because white chocolate was cheaper. The windows seemed covered with giant chocolate bars, coated in too much fondant and luster dust. His head was aching as if a monster was clawing at it. He supposed he could make a special effect out of that idea. Most of his ideas came from anxiety anyway. Might as well make another. 

Picking up the phone in his garage as soon as it started ringing, Roman knew this would be the phone call that would make his whole horror effects career. He could feel it. Pausing the rom com he was watching, he slowly picked it up. 

“Hello…this is him...exorcism, you say?...let me tell my friends.”

He supposed in an alternate reality they would be there watching something not completely embarrassing with him, dotting the ‘living room’ couch, drinking Cokes, Mtn Dew’s, Squirts, and something that looked suspiciously like blood. He could envision it perfectly. Too perfectly m. He pulled up Skype.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jon... and a mirror... being corporate... why oh why did I think this would be a good idea, darn it?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this show is like a prinxiety fanfiction! *quietly retreats to room and writes a prinxiety fanfiction*


End file.
